Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ?
-- if he lifted up both legs he would fall over !

Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich ?
-- the poor have nothing worth taking !

Why did cavemen draw pictures of hippopotamuses and rhinoceroses on their walls ? --- they couldn't spell their names !

How many balls of string would it take to reach the moon ?-- just one if it's long enough !

Who invented fractions ? -- Henry the 1/8 !

What do you call the pub on Mars? -- A Mars Bar!

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What is a polygon ? -- A dead parrot !

What does "Minimum" mean ? -- A very small mother !

What does "Maximum" mean ? -- A very big mother !

What sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? -- A kipper ! Who invented fire ? -- Some bright spark !

What kind of fish can't swim ? -- Dead ones !

What is the most slippery country in the world ? -- Greece !

If two's company and three a crowd, what are four and five ? -- Nine !

What happens when you throw a green stone in the red sea ? -- It gets wet !

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get ? -- Missile toe !

What is the quickest way to double your money ? -- Fold it in half !

Why do birds fly south in the winter ? -- Because it's too far to walk !

What is the fruitiest lesson ? -- History, because it's full of dates !

What sort of animal is a slug ? -- A snail with a housing problem !

What is a skeleton ? -- Bones, with the person off !

What do monsters make with cars? -- Traffic Jam

Why did the pony cough? -- He was a little hoarse!

Where do Aliens keep their sandwiches? -- In a Launch box

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance? -- He had no body to go with!

What do sheep do on sunny days? -- Have a baa - baa - cue!

Where does success come before work ? -- In the dictionary !

What is the best hand to write with ? -- Neither - it's best to write with a pen !


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